‘LEONARD’S LOSER IS....’

          Back when I was growin’ up, tunin’ in to 'Leonard’s Losers' on a fall Saturday mornin’ or afternoon was part of bein’ a football fan in The South. Leonard was a genuine hoot to listen to and such a fun part of fall football life back then.

Each week, in a voice that dripped of Southern fried chicken, grits, and magnolia blossoms, 'Leonard Postosties’, in his comedic rural delivery style, predicted which college teams would lose that week. Even when he was picking against your own team, he still made it entertainin'. His radio programs always opened with Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs’ recording of Foggy Mountain Breakdown, then his sidekick came on to introduce him:

          "This is Percy Peabody tellin' 'ya it's time for Leonard's Losers. With the world's greatest football prognosticator.... tell 'em 'bout, Lenny!"

          Using alternate nicknames for college teams, Leonard claimed that he possessed a “little smart pill machine” to come up with his prognostications. His bombastic predictions were unique, to say the least, and, believe it or not, accurate about 80% of the time.

          Best of all, Leonard's Losers treated college football as it should be treated, with irreverence and disrespect whenever possible, overindulging in the use of team nicknames and makin' 'em appear as ridiculous as they truly are. For example, "Down in Tuscaloosa, Bear Bryant's University of Alabama elephants are going to run into the (name your team) and find their tusks a little loosa."

The 'Water Walker' himself....
Coach Paul 'Bear' Bryant

          Boy, I sure wish Ol’ Leonard was still with us. Not only do I miss hearin’ his show, but I surely would like to know what his prediction for tomorrow’s big game between Alabama and Georgia would be. They’re both dang good teams, and without a doubt, tomorrow’s game is gonna be a good 'un.

          Who knows? He was a UGA graduate and avid Bulldog fan, so if’n he were still around, maybe his prediction would be like the one he gave for the 1976 match-up between the two:

“The Super Detergent Salesmen from Tuscaloosa will visit the Sanford Kennels to try out a new Flea and Tick Soap

on Vince Dooley’s K-9s, and if the Dogs ain’t ready for this wash job they could get a sudsing they’ll remember for a long time. The Water Walker from Alabama is famous for puttin’ a hurtin’ on the Bulldogs, and he has the equipment to do it again, but the Bear might be surprised by the new Bulldog Breed he’ll run into on his trip to Athens. The Red Clay Hounds are hungry and fond of Elephant meat, so I’m inclined to think the Pachyderms will get lightened up considerably in their hindquarters. Leonard’s Loser: Bama, by 7."

Georgia Bulldog's legendary Coach Vince Dooley

          Lawd, have mercy! Was he ever right about that one! Georgia shut us out then, 21 to zip. Let’s just hope it ain’t that bad, again. Especially seein’ how much grief I give my brothers about bein’ Dawg fans. LOL

But, then again, when it comes to SEC football... ANYTHING can happen on any given Saturday. So, Leonard’s prognostication this time around might would actually sound more like this instead:

          “Alabama versus Georgia. This week, Nick Saban's
          Tuscaloosa Tuskers head to the Sanford Dog House where Mark
          Richt's Red Clay Hounds plan to throw a blackout of their own
          for the under-dog elephants. Still smartin’ from the drubbin’
          the Magnolia State Rebs gave ‘em, two weeks ago, the
          pachyderms have no intentions of another such on-the-road
          repeat. Rivalry is not the only storm brewin’ in Athens, though,
          and with all the expected rain, this game is gonna be a
          muddy mess. It’ll be a runnin’ game for sure, and if the Dawgs
          aren’t careful, they’ll find themselves all wet after the Big Red
          Tide rolls in. Leonard’s Loser: Gawja, by 3.”

          But really, there ain't no tellin' how it’ll go, tomorrow afternoon. Like I said... they’re both dang good teams, and without a doubt, tomorrow’s game is gonna be a good ‘un. Still.... it sure would be nice to hear Leonard on the radio just one more time, sayin'....

          “That's all for this week. I'll betcha I bagged all the winners, but I wouldn't bet the house. This is Leonard Postosties sayin’ ‘So long, neighbors.”

          “Get me outta here, Percy!”

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