‘WEAK IF YOU DON’T’

Logan jumpin' @ 'The Sinks'

          Used to be, if you wanted to throw down a challenge to one of your buddies to try some crazy or dangerous stunt, you ‘dared’ ‘em to do it. If’n that didn’t work, you’ might even ‘double-dog dare’ ‘em to push the issue a bit farther. And lemme tell you… that was usually enough to prod most guys into tryin’ about anything to prove they weren’t ‘chicken’ or scared.

Nowadays, though, some of the young folks from up around the mountains of west Polk County, Tennessee, have come up with one even better. It’s called ‘Weak If You Don’t’, and to them, it’s the ultimate challenge.

Nicole about jump off of the Gee Creek Falls

          Started back around 8-years ago amongst a small group of friends, it’s caught on and most of the locals around there are familiar with the phrase. And then – not to be outdone by the boys - their girlfriends, who jump off of waterfalls and bridges right alongside of ‘em, came up with a sayin’ of their own that both compliments as well as finishes the original… it’s ‘Crazy If You Do’.

With the challenge also comes a chance at a badge of honor, of sorts. Prove yourself enough times to the ‘inner core’ of that bunch, and you just might get yourself a decal to stick on the back window of your truck or to the side of your kayak. Make no mistake, though, not just anybody gets a sticker. Only a privileged few are allowed them.

Nolan & Nicole swimmin' Devil Shoals

Now, ‘back-in-the-day’ – when I was a much younger man – I, along with a handful of my friends, used to jump off of waterfalls and bridges and pull all kinds of other crazy stunts as we reveled in our in youthful bravado just as the Polk County kids are doin’, now. Only, sometime since then, a funny thing happened… somewhere along the line, I realized that I wasn’t quite as indestructible as I once thought I was. In other words, I got old and wised up. Well… at least, I thought I had.

Jumpin' off the Reliance train trestle

Then, a quarter of a century later, I suddenly lost my ever-lovin’ mind and found myself feelin’ the need to ‘prove myself’ all over again. Only this time, it wasn’t to my peers, but to my youngest daughter’s boyfriend and his cronies. Here were all these 20-year-olds, jumpin’ off of waterfalls and railroad trestles just for the thrill of it, and I’m suddenly bein’ invited to participate with them. Well, now, what else could I have done? Take a pass on it? Let ‘em think I was too old to ‘hang’ with ‘em? I don’t think so. Twice their age I might be, but my pride was still that of a man just out of my teens. So, last year – my 45^th on this earth – I began the quest to obtain a much-coveted ‘Weak If You Don’t’ decal.

Rock climbin' @ The Bluffs

Now, I’m here to tell you. Them young folks don’t do nothin’ halfway. Everyone of ‘em’s a durned adrenaline junky. Why, in the past year and a half, I’ve seen ‘em jump off the top of 20’-high Gee Creek Falls into the small pool below, with the creek at flood stage, wearin’ only a bright red cape and a pair of Chacos; swim ‘Devil Shoals’, a 100-yard long stretch of Class III rapids on the Hiwassee River; jump from the railroad trestles on both the Hiwassee and the Conasauga Rivers; run the Ocoee River, a Class V whitewater river, in a 3-man ‘Mini-Me’ inflatable raft; and even rock-climb ‘The Bluffs’, 3,000-feet above the scenic Hiwassee River gorge… barefooted. It’s amazin’ what these young daredevils sometimes come up with. And here I was goin’ to try to ‘hang’ with ‘em. What was I thinkin’?

Raftin' the Ocoee in a 'Mini-Me'

          Well, it started durin’ a trip to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. While everyone else was jumpin’ off of the usual 25’-high rock at ‘The Sinks’, a popular swimmin’ hole on the Little River, and with a bit of proddin’ by Logan, my daughter’s boyfriend… Ol’ Bury here leaped off the much higher (40’) cliff side, effectively showin’ up a pool full of other much younger guys. Some of which climbed up there, and then backed back down; scared to try it. Then, less than a month later, havin’ just swam the infamous Devil Shoals with the kids, I stepped off the railroad trestle there at Reliance, Tennessee, plungin’ into the ice-cold depths of the Hiwassee, as a group of friends my own age looked on. After that, however, I was pretty much over the whole ‘relivin’ my young & dumb days’ thing.

Luckily, it was decided that the ol’ man… that’s me… sufficiently proved himself, and I’m proud to say, I got my sticker. As a matter of fact, not only did I get one for my truck, but for Christmas, Logan and Nicole decorated the bow of my sit-on-top ‘yak with ‘Weak If You Don’t’ on one side and ‘Crazy If You Do’ on the other.

Now, that that’s done… thank God… I can politely ‘pass’ on any future feats I’m invited to join ‘em in attemptin’, ‘cause, hey… I’ve got the sticker. And that’s proof enough that this ol’ boy ain’t skeered.

Well… at least, until one of them dang young’uns tosses out that most dreaded of challenges… ‘WEAK IF YOU DON’T’.